You are viewing fare

eyes black and white

Communist Joke

Back in the Soviet Union, a group of men, chained together in a vehicle that takes them to a remote gulag facility, discuss what befell to each of them.

Says the first: "my story is as unjust as it is sad. It was my birthday, so my wife gave me a watch as a present. But it was a poor quality watch and the next day it was already 5 minutes slow. And so of course, I arrived 5 minutes late at work. That's when the Political Commissar nabbed me and I was convicted, to five years of prison, for lack of revolutionary spirit, anti-social behavior and counter-revolutionary activities.

Says the second: "oh that's nothing: my story is even more unjust and sadder. It was my birthday, so my wife gave me a watch as a present. But it was a poor quality watch and the next day it was already 5 minutes fast. And so of course, I arrived 5 minutes early at work. That's when the Political Commissar nabbed me and I was convicted, to ten years of prison, for sabotage and espionage."

Says the third: "oh that's nothing: my story is more unjust and sadder than both of yours. It was my birthday, so my wife gave me a watch as a present. And it was a good quality watch and the next day it was still on time. And so of course, I arrived at work exactly on time. That's when the Political Commissar nabbed me and I was convicted, to fifteen years of prison, for buying a watch from the West."

Says the fourth: "oh that's nothing: my story is more unjust and sadder than all of yours!" It was my birthday, but my wife couldn't afford to give me a watch as a present. And so the next day I arrived as usual at the same time as everyone. That's when the Political Commissar nabbed me and I was convicted, to twenty years of prison, for absolutely nothing." To which the other convicts reply in choir: "You're such a liar: Everyone knows nothing is only three years!"

A few years later the very same men meet again, this time in Free America where they migrated, while again being chained as they are taken to a correctional facility. They tell each other their respective stories.

Says the first: "my story is as unjust as it is sad. I founded a successful company, and my product was priced 5% higher than competition. That's when the Feds cracked down on me and confiscated 25% of my company's profits, for price gouging.

Says the second: "oh that's nothing: my story is even more unjust and sadder. I founded a successful company, and my product was priced 5% lower than competition. That's when the Feds cracked down on me and confiscated 50% of my company's profits, for dumping and unfair competition.

Says the third: "oh that's nothing: my story is more unjust and sadder than both of yours. I founded a successful company, and my product was priced the same as competition. That's when the Feds cracked down on me and confiscated 75% of my company's profits, for price collusion and anti-trust violations.

Says the fourth: "oh that's nothing: my story is more unjust and sadder than all of yours!" My company was only so successful, and my products weren't much comparable in price to those of the competition. That's when the Feds cracked down on me and confiscated 100% of my company's profits, for absolutely nothing!" To which the other convicts reply in choir: "You're such a liar: Everyone knows nothing is only 15%!"

Comments

I grew up in the Soviet Union and now live in the United States and, well, while it is not yet as bad as the joke says, I am saddened with what I can see.
Very true, comrade! "Absolutely nothing" was 15 days.
eyes black and white

March 2014

S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031     

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com